"Swoon Over Your Spoons"

Moving almost every year for the last five has caused me to constantly ask myself, "Do I really need that?" If the answer was yes, it got to stay. If the answer was no, it didn't usually make it to the trash. Instead most of my "no, I don't need that, but maybe one day I could possibly have a use or a space for it" stuff ended up at my parents house. That was until last month when my mom uttered the dreaded words, "Clean out the attic."

I was forced to sift through thousands of memories -- most of which were school-related papers and projects. It's hard to throw things away that represent so many hours of work -- of effort. But there were also many things stuffed in plastic trunks that I've purchased in moments of retail lust (ahem, those horrendous - but trendy at the time - patchwork jeans). As I was thinking about all the things I owned and why, I stumbled across any article from treehugger.com called "Love Your Stuff":

The problem, I argued, is not that we love stuff too much—but that we don't love it enough. Why else do people swoon over the next tech gadget; the next McMansion; or the next over sized car, before becoming bored and moving on to another obsession? That's not love, it's lust. And it's a promiscuous lust at that.

What if we rejected these consumer equivalents of a one night stand? What if we committed to our stuff instead? What if we settled into deep and meaningful, if somewhat polygamous, relationships with our possessions? Once we make the commitment to fall in love all over again with our houses, with our clothes, with our furniture, we start looking for qualities of durability, reliability, craftsmanship, beauty and sustainability, instead of cheap thrills and shallow gimmicks. We start nurturing, nourishing and maintaining what we have, rather than looking for something new. In short, we learn to live with less.

So as we rapidly approach the holiday (i.e. gimmie, gimmie, gimmie gifts) season, I plan to ask for -- and will try only to give -- really high quality, useful, durable, meaningful gifts. Some of the best gifts I've received over the last few years include a slow cooker and tool set. Not flashy or exciting, but I use them both on a near-weekly basis.

One-Sentence Commencement Speeches

Northeastern graduated two weeks ago and BU graduates this weekend (along with a plethora of other schools). Our speaker was Dr. Kenneth Cole (and yes, he is now a doctor) - who was surprisingly good - and if anyone has a copy of his speech I would love it.

PostSecret's Frank Warren delivered a commencement speech at St. Mary's College in Maryland this week and asked students to submit "one sentence speeches."

I did not know what to expect by tapping into your collective wisdom, but I was soon thrilled by the insight, humor, and inspiration I felt in your earnest one-sentence commencement speeches. Here are just a few.

Be wise enough not to be reckless, but brave enough to take great risks.

It’s okay to fail – learn from it and you will succeed.

It’s better to be pissed-off than pissed-on.

These next three all offer solid advice about making the transition from St Mary’s to the real world.

With the increased prevalence of multi-drug resistant bacteria and the increasingly epidemic worldwide outbreak of swine flu, WASH YOUR HANDS . . . RELIGIOUSLY.

In the real world, you must wear shoes.

I know some of us are going to walk off this stage today with no idea about what comes next – embrace it, find something that makes you happy, and follow it wherever it leads.

The comments section of PostSecret also has thousands of others. Some of my favorites:

You can do anything. But not everything.

No matter how low you consider yourself, there is always someone looking up at you wishing they were that high.

It''s okay to be afraid, but don't let that fear hold you back. Instead, have it push you forward, breaking through the barrier you thought was there.

It's ok to be scared and it's even ok to fail; you don't have to be perfect.

"to do is to be" - nietzsche
"to be is to do" - kant
"do be do be do" - sinatra
only your song matters in the end

Glamour's 30 by 30 List

I just found the magazine page I ripped out that inspired my 30 by 30 list. It's from Glamour magazine's September 2005 issue.

By 30, you should have:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you how far you've come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
   
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you're content to move beyond.
   
6. A past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
   
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.
   
9. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimine, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.
    
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
   
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.
6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don't like to.
8. How to take control of your own birthday.
9. That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.
    
11. What you would and wouldn't do for money or love.
    
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can't and why you shouldn't take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn't your fault.
    
15. Why they say life begins at 30.
    

Will I ever be as cool as my parents?

Sometimes I worry that at 23 I'll never be as cool as my parents were. People don't usually think of their parents as cool, but mine definitely were. They never tried to kid us into thinking they were angels, reflecting on their decisions and hoping to impart at least some of their wisdom on us. But my parents were the people who DID things. They were slightly rebellious, outgoing, adventurous people. Sometimes I worry that my goody-two-shoes life means that I've let all my opportunities for acceptable rebellious adventures pass me by. It's almost time for... REAL LIFE. Ugh. How depressing does that sound? I'm jealous of my brother who has always bucked the conventional trends and is pursuing a career in culinary arts. (Plus, that will DEFINITELY benefit me later on!) And my little sister, who is applying to schools near Tahoe so that she can snowboard all the time. She's also debating deferring for a year and literally just working retail or waitressing while spending all her spare time with her boyfriend on their boards on the mountain. I am JEALOUS.

But then I remind myself that there's no need to have accomplished everything by age 23. In fact, by this time in my mother's life she was already pregnant with me and their lives were settling down. This year my mother will have been married more of her life than she was single. It's a bizzare concept when I really think about it.

I think what it comes down to is that I've always focused so much on pleasing my parents by focusing on the things you're supposed to that I gave up free time for the wild, crazy things I wanted to do. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to be graduating Northeastern magna cum laude with my bachelor's in journalism and sociology. I just... feel like I haven't quite reached my full potential yet. As soon as classes/finals are over, I'm going to go back to making more me time. And in that me time I want to work on my lists of goals that I've created (To Do Before 30 and Life Overall). I'm totally inspired too by the blogs My 99 Problems and Boston in 60. Maybe I'll work on a format like that for 2009?

Oh, you didn't know that muffin was bad for you?

MSNBC article about New Yorkers' reaction to the new laws the city finally got passed that requires fast-food type restaurants to display calorie content of food as prominently as the price.

Outside the Forest Hills’ Dunkin’ Donuts, Juan Restrepo, the 45-year-old owner of a construction company, said he was quitting corn muffins — 510 calories! — this time for good.

“My daughter warned me about them,” he lamented. “I just didn’t listen.”

Just proves the point that we don't believe it until we see it. So maybe seeing it over and over and over again will finally drill home how we managed to become to the fattest country on the planet. Changing our habits will change companies menu items (ah, capitalist supply & demand cycle) which means more healthy options for everyone - yay!

New York is not the only city pushing calorie labels. New laws in Seattle and California’s Santa Clara and San Francisco are scheduled to go into effect later this year, including some more stringent than New York’s, requiring restaurants to post information about sodium, carbs, fats and cholesterol in addition to calories.

Hey Boston - where are we? I want calorie counts on my menus!

I actually wrote my Law, Policy, and Society thesis about this topic in December. Here's some really fun facts:

* Only 35% of Americans are healthy (according to BMIs)
* After the Nutrition and Labeling Education Act 1990 (you know, all those lovely labels on the stuff you buy at the grocery store): 48% changed their decision to buy or use a product and 24% to 37% choose high calorie items less often
* New York City residents at Subway restaurants who reported seeing calorie information bought 48 fewer calories on average and those who claimed they actively used the information bought 92 few calories. “The Health Department estimates that, if the same pattern held at every restaurant covered by the proposed regulation, its adoption would spare at least 150,000 people from obesity over the next five years, preventing more than 30,000 cases of diabetes” (NYBOH PR). If we use US Census Bureau information to estimated the population of New York City to be 3% of the national population, these statistics become even more significant. Federal adoption of the MEAL Act would then spare an estimated five million people from obesity in the next five years and prevent one million cases of diabetes.

(Let me know if you'd like to read a full copy.)

That tan looks great on you.

It's been awhile, did you miss me? Probably not. Or rather, hopefully not. You should have shut you laptop, donned your white-rimmed plastic sunglasses, and headed out into the great sunshiny world away from the blogosphere. Or at least that's what I was up to for the better part of the last two weeks. I spent three solid days at my lake house disconnected from the world beyond those who showed up to BBQ, play cribbage, sun themselves, and splash around in the lake. It was glorious. I always feel rejuvenated when I'm there; I think it has to do with the fact that so much of my regular life is spent indoors near electronic devices connecting with people. Disconnection is exhilirating.

Oh and I've also been doing a little bit of that thing called school again. Taking American Society, a discussion based sociology course, and Entrepreneurship. Both of which are challenging and rewarding in opposite ways. It's good to be in an environment that really engages my brain again (except for the homework).

On that note, these are some things you really should check out:
Boston in 60
My friend Adam has two months left before he leaves Boston for an internship in DC. He's challenging himself to do something different every single day. Follow along, tag along, and make suggestions!

You Look Great Today
A fun salute from Happy Corp to "capture greatness in the wild." Scroll through the pics and smile or go on your own greatness-seeking adventure and share your own pics.

Stark Raving Sane and the Bad Idea Bears

You know when you're in a great mood? Like, truly a great-everything-is-wonderful kind of mood? I love that feeling.

It's summer. It finally feels like summer. This heat wave has sufficiently thawed Boston out of the last 6 months of winter/sleet/rainy/gray days. Kids were swimming in the fountain at Copley square yesterday - not just splashing around, but legit swimming in it. I sat down at my desk on Tuesday and after about 20 minutes noticed an extra post-it note stuck to my monitor - "I (heart) Carr!!" The two intern boys have made the last month here so, so much better.

Last night after work we out to watch karaoke at Club Cafe with my "she-shes" hanging out. We had to much fun judging people and drinking vodkatonics (I want to be able to TASTE the alcohol I'm drinking tonight). After Club Cafe we went to Fritz, also on the gay Boston circuit because it's the holiday right now in Boston -- that's right it's Pride Week! If the Boston social scene is like that of a small town, then the city's gay scene is comparable to a mansion. Everyone knows everyone - hags included.

I'm actually kind of sad I'm leaving the city this weekend. But anyways, this entry was rather useless, so I'll leave you with a few fun things to check out:

---

This post brought to you by:
Stronghold in Siam - On the Rebound
The Help - Thunder and Bison
The Bad Idea Bears - buy some beer! (or in our case, VodkaTonics)

And stumbled upon a few quotes from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (add that to the re-read list):

• Half of what he said meant something else, and the other half didn't mean anything at all.
• We cross our bridges when we come to them, and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.
• We are tied down to a language which makes up in obscurity what it lacks in style.
• Guildenstern: A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.
  Rosencrantz: Or just as mad.
  Guildenstern: Or just as mad.
  Rosencrantz: And he does both.
  Guildenstern: So there you are.
  Rosencrantz: Stark raving sane. (This one is for you Ris.)

A weekend of unplanned adventures & inspiration

Today I woke up at 9 am with no roommates and no plans. Sometimes I hate being alone, I'm just in the mood to be with people. But today was a good alone day. Had breakfast and came up with a game plan for the day, talked to Kightlinger way over in NZ, and headed out the door at 10:30 am. I really love driving down the road, blaring the radio, singing at the top of my lungs. I mean, really, is there anything that compares to that?

Some guy was driving like a complete asshole getting onto the 795. Karma came around to bite him in the butt when along came Mr. State Trooper.

My first stop of the day was the American Visionary Art Museum down in Fed Hill. Some of the exhibits were interesting, some were ridiculously hilarious, some made me think, and some really made me think. I've never just done a museum by myself before (other than the MFA, but that doesn't count). It was interesting to get lost in my own thoughts about a piece or installation without comparing them with someone else's. It was nice to be able to stare at a pencil drawing, finding humorous vignettes only upon close inspection, that I might have otherwise passed by because someone I was with was ready to move on to the next gallery. My favorite part of AVAM was the expansion warehouse. (I would love to live in converted warehouse space one day, so cool!) I've discovered I really like provocative pieces that are designed to catch you off-guard. And I especially enjoy environmental pieces, as opposed to paintings or drawings.

This quote was mounted on one of the walls:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa (Adapted from The Paradoxical Commandments by Kent Keith (1968))

I really think there's a lot to take away from that. Forgiveness, inspiration, drive, passion, ambition. And remembering that what you do should be for no one other than yourself (and your god).

I finally made it over to Blu Bambu in Inner Harbor, an Asian kitchen Blake has been bugging me to visit since she found out I was moving down here. I was surprised, I thought it was going to be take-out typical Chinese food. But they had this really cool Mongolian stir-fry bar. Nice and healthy with lots of flavor and not that expensive. Then I stopped by the Hard Rock Cafe to get a pin for John.

Next it was over to the Mount Vernon neighborhood to visit the Contemporary Art Museum. They're currently displaying an entire collection by Joseph Grigley. He became completely deaf at the age of 10. His pieces "explore the idiosyncrasies of language and the dynamics of everyday communication." Totally unexpected and definitely got me thinking about something I wholly take for granted. The coolest installation was called "We're Drunken Bantering about What's Important in Life" (2007). It's a collection of notes - snippets of conversations people had with Grigley - posted to a wall. "With these works, Grigely asks the question: “We presumably know what a conversation sounds like—but what does a conversation look like?”"

The rest of the day was filled with the delightful routine chores of a sunday -- produce market, grocery store, nap, and gym. I also watched a documentary called F**k (at least, that's how it's listed on Netflix). It explores the nature of the word fuck, where it comes from, how we use it, why it's such a big deal, and the pervasive use of the word in American society. I might also watch another movie -- we'll see.

Yesterday was the Race for the Cure 5K at work bright and early am. We were going to do the last 1 mile Fun Walk, but at the last minute I convinced my roommate to do the full 5K with me. So we grabbed numbers, ran about half of the course overall, and I finished my very first 5K with a time of 38:25. I didn't get a plaque, I think we may have even been the last people doing the full 5K to finish -- but we did finish. And it was fun. I will definitely do more charity walks/runs in the future.

I spent most of yesterday doing a whole lot of nothing by the pool. Then went to an O's game with Kristen because she had free tickets. Nothing eventful, but fun to hang out with someone new!

Overall, it was a really nice weekend. I can't believe this chapter of my life is coming to a close so soon already. I'm finally feeling settled here. I almost forget what it's like to just hang out with everyone... I haven't been to Boston since February and haven't been home since Easter. Who knows -- more adventures ahead!