Stream of Consciousness

Monday, June 4, 2007

Before the beginning

I'm starting this blog to keep track of all my random thoughts and progress over the next few years. And to make it available to my (somewhat) adoring public. Ha. Anyways, I've decided that I'm sick of being afraid to look stupid. I'm sick of doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. I'm sick of waiting for things to happen.

So, I'm making changes. Small at first, and then bigger and bigger. I'm trying new things. And I'm setting goals. Here we go:


I can't remember the last time I was skinny. Okay, actually that's a lie. It was fourth grade. My best friend Chris used to come over everyday after school because my mom babysat him. Chris, my brother, and me would play outside everyday until it was dark. And when we were playing inside, we were always wrestling or having adventures of some kind. Chris had, and still has, one of the most incredible imaginations of anyone that I have ever met. Alas, eventually my mom got a full-time job and we got to be too old to need a baby-sitter everyday. My afterschool routine changed from daily adventures in the woods or trips to "Destiny Valley" (which was actually just the edge of our property) to watching Breaker High and Sweet Valley High on TV with a bowl of goldfish and a diet coke.

I remember at first my mom told me that it was just baby fat, that it would go away. So I didn't change my habits at all. By the time I was in junior high I was a size 14. Despite several attempts at hardcore diets, all of which failed due to their extremely rigid and boring nature, and several periods of just not caring, I've come out 10 years later about the same size as I was in junior high. I've always eaten relatively healthfully, enjoying a wide variety of produce and whatnot. But tend to give in to the more tempting treats far too often -- fast foods snacks and biiiiiig family buffets.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of seeing a different person in my head than the person that I see in pictures. I joined Weight Watchers (WW) about 2.5 months ago. I've lost almost 15 lbs since then using the flex plan. I've also been away from home since January and have begun a lifestyle that includes exercise at least 5 days a week.

I've come to realize that I get bored by routines very easily. WW allows me to eat whatever foods that I want, but helps me keep portions in control by counting points. It also lets me do whatever kinds of exercise I'm in the mood for -- all counting toward earning Activity Points (APs). Since I began exercising regularly, I've gone through phases where I did the elliptical, the treadmill, walks around my neighborhood, short jogs, nature hikes, and (most recently) swimming. I think as long as I keep changing it up, I will be okay.

So, now that we have the backstory down -- I have some upcoming goals:

Scale Victories (SVs):
  • July 4th -- 189 lbs. (a loss of 10% from my original weight)
  • Sept 2nd -- 170 (next 10%)
  • Nov 4th -- 153 (next 10%, top of my healthy BMI range, just in time to turn 22!!)
  • Dec 31st -- 135 (END GOAL!! just in time to kick of 2008)

Non-Scale Victories (NSVs):

  • Joined company softball team.
    The last time I played softball it was probably in gym class, and who really puts effort in then? I've always shied away from playing with my cousins (who all play on legitimate teams, one is even a nationally ranked youth pitcher) because I didn't want to look stupid. Well, I stopped caring about that and you know what? I had FUN! And I'm actually not half bad. Plus my teammates are constantly giving me support and teaching me little tricks. It's one of the best experiences I've had and has definitely been a tipping point* for me.
  • Learn how to box/kick-box/legitimately defend myself.
  • Hike one of the presidential mountains this fall.
  • Learn to sail my sailboat at the lake house.

(* The Tipping Point. Malcom Gladwell -- check it out on my books list!)


Rehauling my approach to exercise and eating healthy has tranistioned into renewed enthusiasm for other areas of my life. I've always been a small-town girl (and I still consider Boston to be a small-town girl's city). However, there are so many interesting, unique and wonderful experiences to be had around the world. At this time in my life I have no serious obligations to anyone but myself. This is the time to travel.

Part of this goal was recently achieved when I moved to Baltimore for six months for my job. It's the longest and farthest I've ever been away from my family. It's the longest I've ever gone without my entire network of friends to keep me entertained and busy around the clock. I think it's been a catalyst for a lot of introspection and personal growth.

Places to go, people to meet:

  • France, study abroad, Fall 2008.
  • Costa Rican Adventure (EF collegebreak), Summer 2008.
  • Montreal
  • Greek Islands
  • Arizona (visit friends), San Diego (with my cousins), Atlanta (visit family)


I've also recently determined that I want to be in full control of my financial circumstances. I have a spending problem. I inherited it from my father. I also have a big heart and would give my money away in a heartbeat to help you out, even if it was my last dollar. I'm trying to get a handle on my financial situation and prepare myself to fund my future endeavors, instead of simply my whims at the mall. To do this I opened an ING Direct savings account, used loan money to purchase a new computer (instead of my CapOne card), and recently started my very first Roth IRA account (more on that another time).

I've also decided to take a bartending class and see if I enjoy that line of work. I think it would be really fun. And my family and friends seem to think I would be great at it. It's another one of those things that I've always sort of thought about but never had the guts to pursue. I'm also trying to grow my freelancing network to continue building my portfolio.

Making bank:

  • Pay CapOne card down from $4,200 to $2,000 by May 2008.
  • Own car outright for first time -- title, registration, insurance
  • Pay rent on my own (first non-university housing!)

That's all of this post. More to come on thoughts about my career path later.

No comments: