Dirty and Clean

I feel slightly dirty even though I just took a shower a few hours ago because I spent the whole evening packing. We have a little bit of the kitchen, the party supplies, and the board games in sealed boxes. That makes me feel so much better. Even time we seal a box with tape I realize we're one step closer to moving out of this place. While we definitely had some great, crazy times here, I am so ready to move on. It's going to be a lot of fun to explore a new neighborhood. I'm ready to feel just a little more grown up. I also keep realizing that there are so many loose ends to take care of: comcast, keyspan/national grid, giving our keys back to our slumlord, etc.

Rita Hayworth

So I'm leaving for the beach today. I did my graduation clearance paperwork. Turned in my co-op paperwork. Emailed my teacher about my stupidity of not turning in my paper the right way on BlackBoard. And bought a shit ton (literally, they're like books) of fashiony magazines.

Clearly, I'm now thinking about Halloween. I think I've settled on Rita Hayworth. It still might change. What do we think?

Reprioritizing Life

Riding the bus this morning, I wrote a small novel to myself. And decided I needed a life priorities/reminders list.

1. Trust my heart more often
2. Visit Paris
3. Jump without fear
4. Meet Rosalia
5. Be vulnerable
6. Get rid of negative "friends"
7. Stop using the phrase, "Because I have to"
8. Accept good enough
9. Fill up my passport
10. Spend money on what's important, skip the other stuff
11. Perfect my curves
12. Appreciate early laugh lines
13. Do good
14. Be thankful
15. Meditate

HALLOWEEN! (First in a series, to be sure)

And no, I will tell you right now, it is NOT too early. You gotta get the good costumes when it's still fun and relaxing to shop. Everything (well the big stuff anyways) should be taken care of by Columbus Day.

So we're kicking around the idea of doing Hollywood this year. I think we're going to go with old school glam Hollywood instead of va-jay-jay flashing, rich, talentless, skinny bitches Hollywood. I think we should really define it as pin-ups and rat pack era. Go curvy ladies!

So, since Kari is taking Marilyn, I'm thinking maybe doing Liz Taylor, Betty Grable, or Veronica Lake. Any opinions? Ideas?

Altruism in America

Excerpts from an article by David Graeber in Harper's (Jan 2007):

Imagine, for a moment, that the United States as it exists today were the creation of some ingenious social engineer. What assumptions about human nature could we say this engineer must have been working with? Certainly nothing like rational choice theory. For clearly our social engineer understands that the only way to convince human beings to enter into the world of work and the marketplace (that is, of mind-numbing labor and cutthroat competition) is to dangle the prospect of thereby being able to lavish money on one’s children, buy drinks for one’s friends, and, if one hits the jackpot, spend the rest of one’s life endowing museums and providing AIDS medications to impoverished countries in Africa. Our theorists are constantly trying to strip away the veil of appearances and show how all such apparently selfless gestures really mask mine kind of self-interested strategy, but in reality American society is better conceived as a battle over access to the right to behave altruistically. Selflessness–or, at least, the right to engage in high-minded activity–is not the strategy. It is the prize.

When we are dealing not with strangers but with friends, relatives, or enemies, a much more complicated set of motivations will generally come into play: envy, solidarity, pride, self-destructive grief, loyalty, romantic obsession, resentment, spite, shame, conviviality, the anticipation of shared enjoyment, the desire to show up a rival, and so on, These are the motivations impelling the major dramas of our lives that great novelists like Tolstoy and Dostoevsky immortalize but that social theorists, for some reason, tend to ignore.

...we are so used to operating inside impersonal markets that it never occurs to us to think how we would act if we had an economic system in which we treated people based on how we actually felt about them.

One might put it this way: if value is simply what one considers important, then money allows importance to take a liquid form, by enabling us to compare precise quantities of importance and trade one off for the other. If someone does accumulate a very large amount of money, the first thing he or she is likely to do is to try to convert it into something unique, whether it be Monet’s water lilies, a prizewinning racehorse, or an endowed chair at a university.

The problem, of course, is that a higher education system cannot be expanded forever. At a certain point one ends up with a significant portion of the population unable to find work even remotely in line with their qualifications, who have every reason to be angry about their situation, and who also have access to the entire history of radical thought.

More thoughts on this later.

Olympic Fandimonium

Recently we discussed the aspects of being a 'fan' in our American Society class. There's a strong sense of group identity and emotional catharsis in being a fan. You get to experience the emotional highs and lows, you get to commiserate or celebrate with fellow fans, all without lifting more than a beer or your shouts of encouragement for YOUR team.

We've definitely seen this with all of the Olympic hype lately. Now that they've started, it's hard not to get up caught up cheering for USA. Otherwise, you would be unpatriotic, you would be a traitor. As I sat in my living room last night, eating Cappy's pizza in my sweats, I couldn't help but think of the irony of watching the most successful athletes in the world compete against each other.

I'm so glad that I was watching the men's 4x100 relay last night. Because now I can say, "YEAH! I saw it live, as it happened!!" I got to be a part of my team's moment because I experienced the same emotions (albeit not nearly as raw or profound) at the same time they did. Through all the stress of finals this week, it's nice to have an escapist emotional outlet. And really, these men aren't hard on the eyes either. (Click here for NBC's "exclusive" photos from the race. Check out Phelp's face and phsyique as he realizes Lezak just SMASHED the world record and the French team.)

Pictures say 1,000 words

I'm ready to get off this emotional roller coaster

Sunday and Monday was a ridiculous experience of going from the highest emotional high to the lowest low. From speaking at Kyle & Laurie's wedding ceremony to finding out about getting robbed of my jewelry (and old laptop). It was emotionally, and thus physically, draining. Once I got back to the city Monday, I napped and laid in my bed for a few hours, unable to find the energy or motivation to go much farther. And also scared that somehow leaving would have dire consequences. Kari and I did manage to be productive in the evening when we started cleaning the front closet and pantry - which was completely beyond words disgusting. I needed the act of packing to excite me and make moving out of this shithole with my slumlord a reality. 24 days and counting.

Tuesday was slightly more energetic and productive, if only because it had to be for the most part. But then, for the first time since the start of January, I didn't close on a Tuesday night. So I was finally able to partake of Ladies 80s Night at Red Sky ($10 of booze gets you a free three course meal). I had the best experience ever with BPD (Office D. Brown) when filing my supplemental report. After Red Sky, and observing the ridiculousness that is Menino's corraling of street performers at Fanieul Hall (see Universal Hub), I went home and watched TV in our peaceful apartment.

Today was a lot of class and reading, and the next week of upcoming finals is going to be crazy. But the power of positive thinking (I'm convinced that's what it was) brought me to the Jack Johnson concert in Mansfield for free, with the decision made about 45 minutes prior to leaving the city. It took an arsenal of calls to BR sales people but it all came together, and I even ran into one of my best friends from NH on Rt 495 on his way to the concert too.

Of course, listening to music you haven't heard in awhile, and truly hearing the lyrics, makes you start thinking. Especially thinking of things that hadn't been thought about in awhile, that get sparked by seeing someone special.

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs

The Lord knows that this world is cruel
I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning lovin' somebody don't make them love you

Everything in Hollis is so green

I finally wrote my speech for Kyle and Laurie's wedding this weekend.

Being home, ie away from actual life demands in Boston, has been really nice for the last half a day. I feel more productive and focused.

I've only had time to Tweet lately instead of really blogging, but I'm going to try to write more. I promise. It's just hard in the summer, you know?

Also, everything in Hollis is such a lush shade of green.